In need of a break

With the disappointment of not getting a July date, I consoled myself with the fact that I would go visit the girls in August.  I spoke to my agency about doing that and they were enthusiastic.  They said that visits are always welcome and Olga & team are always accommodating!  Well, once again, expectations have led to another disappointment.  Logically, Olga and the two translators working with her  all decided to take their vacations while the judge is out . . . makes perfect sense and, on one hand I appreciate them doing that so as not to cause further delays by them being out when the judge is in  (most specifically Olga).  They'll all be out August 3 through August 20th!  I briefly entertained the idea of going  the last week of August but the agency said that they're hoping I'll be getting a court date early September so it may not be feasible to go.  I need to be here to prepare documents.  

It is all out of my hands.  I wish I could just relax with that knowledge but I'm used to being able to cause something good to happen.  This time I think my hands really are tied.   

Switching gears

I've received so much support from the Ekat group and have heard so many stories.   Our story is not unusual for this region.  That helps as it makes me not feel singled out or as if there is a problem with my adoption.  The stories I've heard have been awful but everyone came through with healthy, happy children at the end which is encouraging.

I was concerned about going to visit the girls because I didn't want to upset their routine or lives.  I have an issue with showing them lots of maternal love and attention and then taking it away from them indefinitely.  But, sister Lynn asked why I couldn't just go over and spend time with them and not do the whole "mama is here" thing (one more example of how important sisters are and why I want my girls to have them).   I guess in the midst of the doom, I wasn't thinking clearly because, of course I can do that.  Just a visit with them - playing, getting to know each other, etc.  No big emotional deal for them.  And, I think they'll have so much fun with Katy and visa-versa (I hope anyway!).     

So, I've decided to take Katy to visit the girls in August and have spoken to the agency about it.  They're sending word to Olga tomorrow and I'm hoping it can all be planned out quickly so that we'll have a few stress-free days with them.  Hopefully, we'll be back in a month or so after that and the girls will remember us.   I think it will be a great opportunity for Katy and me to spend some alone time with them before the stressful trip of getting them home and then the difficult adjustments we'll all go through.

So, now my feeling of doom is replaced with excitement about traveling with Katy and spending time with her and the twins.  I think it will be a great trip.  And, prior to that trip we'll be spending time in Lake Tahoe with family which will be a lot of fun too.  This time will pass and it will not be wasted at all!  It will be memorable and well spent time. 

Delays, delays, delays

Response to my emails to the agency today:  

"The judge has all of your documents for review but she has not issued the permission to submit the girl's documents yet.  Olga is no longer optimistic that you will get a court date prior to the judge's vacation.  If you do not, the judge will return 9/6 and we will be looking for a court date upon her return.  At this point Olga is hopeful that she will receive permission to submit the girl's documents prior to the judge vacation."

I have no idea what any of that means but, I was warned about it on 7/4.  I knew before the agency knew so I didn't believe it.   I was told the judge had accepted everything and she requested the one additional letter on Tuesday.   Everyday it changes - On March 17th, when the judge first accepted my documents, I was told she had 30 days to assign a court date!  And they've expired twice since then and, of course, they will again while the girls fall further and further behind in their development.     

Why Ekaterinburg?

There's been a lot of discussion amongst Ekat adoptive parents at all stages of the process about how difficult the process is and if they would do it over.  My wait so far is in line with everyone else's - we've all had terrible experiences in trying to get a court date - however, this adoptive parent sums it up as to why we go through it . . . 

" I've read a recent post about how it is now very difficult to adopt from Ekaterinburg. I think that's probably very true. It's also not any different then it has been for years. When we adopted from Ekaterinburg in 2000 it was considered one of the most difficult regions in Russia to adopt from. The posts regarding this have never changed over the years. It has always been difficult to adopt from Ekaterinburg. Our original agency no longer works in the region and very few do. They are much more demanding with their paperwork. 

The flip side of the coin is they have some of the best orphanages in all of Russia. Our daughter came home at 16 months old from Baby Home #1 in the top 75% in both height and weight. When we were there during July we watched them bring out close to 100 kids to the play areas every morning and again every afternoon after their naps. It gave them fresh air and exercise. While we were there we also watched one of the caregivers set up a table outside to work with small groups of children with their fine motor skills with blocks and puzzles. The care they received was wonderful. We have heard similar things from other families about the orphanages in Ekat and the surrounding areas of Revda and Kaminsk Uralski. Our daughter Valerie is now 9 years old and one of the strongest kids I know. She swims like a fish, does sow cows and toe loops and bats cleanup on her softball team. She also scored in the top 1% of her grade last year on the nationwide Terranova tests in of all things, language arts. She also scored near the top in reading and math. She's a happy, well adjusted and affectionate little girl that is the light of our life. 

Yes, it's more difficult to adopt from Ekaterinburg. Yes, it's worth every minute. Don't let the paperwork prevent you from going forward in the region. For what it's worth, court was easy and the judge was actually laughing during one part of our hearing. I haven't added any photos of Valerie to the group in a while, but I'll be adding some soon. Take a look at the picture of her in front of the baby home and try and tell me she's not a happy healthy kid. Isn't that what we all really want?"    

I wish this made me feel better but it doesn't help much right now.