Saturday, October 25, 2008

Oh Happy Days . . .

Camryn and Courtney are doing so well and are so much fun.  It definitely is a lot of work but so worth it.  I can't think of any other way I'd rather spend my time.

The twins are doing very well and Katy is coming around.  I've had to ban Katy from her pony bed and have her sleeping with me (again) so that we can both get a full nights sleep.  It worked wonders and now she sleeps through the night and is back to her 5:30 AM wake up.  Still too early but at least it's not 3 AM like it had been.  Today she actually slept in until around 7:30 as did the twins.

Tomorrow is Katy's 4th birthday and the celebrations actually started on Thursday and haven't stopped.  Stacy arrived on Thursday to join in all of the festivities (for those who don't know, Stacy accompanied me to Russia when I picked Katy up) and she's been a lot of fun for me and the girls.  Thursday night Aunt Lynnie threw a Scooby-Doo pizza party for Katy.  Katy had a great time as did the twins.  They had their second swimming experience (with the exception of the bathtub) and loved it.  They then joined in on the trampoline with Katy and cousins and loved that too of course.  They didn't enjoy the pizza much as I'm finding to be the case with a lot of American kids foods but we're making progress.

Last night, Katy had her last soccer game with her current team and the "Old Julian Petting Farm" folks had another pizza/awards/birthday party honoring her.  The twins sat in the twin stroller and watched the game and clapped right along with everyone else which was very cute.   As long as I had a steady stream of snacks heading their way they were content.  They watched the birthday/awards celebration very patiently.  

Tonight another family dinner and tomorrow a big birthday celebration with Katy's pre-school friends at the pump-it-up facility.  It sounds like a lot for the twins I know but they're handling things very well.  They know who mama is and come to me with their needs (and loves)  but they are also friendly with others.   I like that they are so social and don't want to lose that if I can help it but I also like the re-directing of them to me when they're hungry or hurt, etc.  It seems to be working.  I left them for a few hours on Wednesday in order to take Katy to her dance class.  They took her place in Katy's little pre-school and when I went back to pick them up they were playing with the other kids.  They looked up and saw me and both came running into my arms laughing.  It was very cute but, more importantly, it was a very big step.  I feel that we are well on our way to their understanding of who "mama" is and what that really means for them.

They had their first big doctor appointment with the international specialist.  They both did great.  Courtney revealed some physical movements in the orphanage that were a little concerning but mentally she's always been right there with Camryn.  Her body was stiff in the orphanage but after our visits she seemed to loosen up.  By the time we picked her up the only stiff body part was her hands.  She quickly improved the hand movements too but still has some self-soothing habits.  The doctor said that some of the movements are similar to autistic behavior but that she is not autistic.  She has great eye contact and is focused appropriately.  The stiffness and movements (hand flapping, sensory sensitivity) are common in institutionalized children and they normally grow out of them shortly after joining their families.  This has proven to be the case with Courtney although she still has some catching up to do as far as weight goes.  But, she's eating as much, if not more, as Camryn, so she'll catch up there quickly.  

Both girls were tested for TB and came out negative.  That was a surprise as they have apparently figured out a way around the false positive they normally get when children have received the vaccine as all 3 of my girls have.  They still have to have tons of blood drawn but all in all they passed their appointment with flying colors.  Camryn is in the 38 percentile for height and 8 percentile for weight while Courtney who is 1/2 inch smaller and 1 pound lighter is 26 and 6.  So, both are doing pretty well.  

The girls have graduated from throwing the food they don't want on the floor to just saying "naaaaah" and putting it down on their tray.  This was a huge improvement for me.  We've also gone from screaming for food every morning to them sitting quietly in their highchairs while I cook breakfast for them.  If I'm too slow and am losing their patience, I have a banana ready to go to buy me some more time.  It seems to be working.   Both girls are sleeping through the night, eating enough, playing a lot, enjoying the So. California sun tremendously and seem to be happy most of the time.  The only real exceptions are when it's time to get out of the bath (or they can't have one when they "demand" it) and, when I say it's "night-night" time.  They don't like that but normally go right down anyway.  They share a room at night but at nap time I've got them in separate rooms and they don't seem to mind that.  Eventually I will put them in their own rooms - I think it will be important for both (especially Courtney) to have a some opportunities to gain some individuality and independence.  

As far as English goes - I think they understand everything.  I can ask Camryn to give something to Courtney, or vice versa, and she does it.  They understand when I tell them to put their hands on their heads, sit on their bottoms, etc. They say a few words but not really very many.   They repeat things instantly when I say them but then they use few on their own so far.  Courtney does tell me when she needs a new diaper which is always helpful.   Camryn now shakes her head yes in response to my questions but neither shake no yet.

All in all it's been a pretty easy transition for me and for them so far.  Katy has had the hardest time of it and still sends them to "her mommy" when they need something.  I don't think she fully understands yet that I am also their mommy.  We've had a few cute moments in the car, when they're all strapped down, that the 3 are interacting together but it's pretty occasional.  Sometimes I catch Katy playing with Camryn but mostly Katy does something she's not supposed to do and then the twins follow and Katy ends up getting in trouble.  

I'll post more pictures later . . . but, right now, I smell a dirty diaper so I'd better get back to my  duties. 

Sunday, October 19, 2008

A week and a day

So much has changed in that amount of time since we've been home.   Katy slept a full night last night not waking until 5:30 which was her usual time pre-Russia - that's the first since returning home.  Thankfully, the twins have been sleeping through the night since picking them up at the orphanage.  I feel like a new person after finally getting a full night's sleep.  It's been such a long time - I don't think I had one uninterrupted nights sleep the whole 5 weeks in Russia so it was wonderful!  

I felt so good this morning that I decided to take the 3 girls to a family reunion of sorts as it was an opportunity to see many people I haven't seen in years.  I had a lot of help and, even with that, it was a lot of work but so worth it.  Courtney discovered the swimming pool and I couldn't keep her out of it.  Katy, who is a fish anyway, jumped in and Camryn was not far behind.  Luckily, their cousins also were ready to dive in so all 3 girls got to enjoy the water today.  Courtney seemed to especially love it - she was dunking her head and coming up laughing and clapping.  She didn't seem to have any fear which is how Katy was before learning to swim.  Scary as every where we go there are pools (including at home) so the girls will have to learn to swim very quickly.  Camryn didn't seem to have any fear either and was also enthusiastic about the water but, Courtney just couldn't get enough.  One thing all 3 will enjoy doing together I hope.

It has been a busy week for me.  I can't provide the food quickly enough for the twins.  They're barely awake before they're in the kitchen begging for food.  I'm trying to break away from so much "snacking" as I want to introduce new foods but their insistent demands for food every minute makes that difficult.  But, we are making progress.  This morning I made them wait while I scrambled eggs for them and made pancakes.  The eggs were a big hit but the pancakes today didn't go over at all.  I follow everything up with a banana as they can not get enough of those.  In fact, "banana", "more" and "bye bye" is the extent of the english the girls are speaking so far.    And, with constant eating comes constant diaper changes.   My days basically consist of feeding changing washing but I'm loving it.

Having gone through the whole adoption process with Katy I was prepared for the strangeness of it all.  Having these children become my daughters when the judge (FINALLY) decided to declare it so, is beyond strange emotionally.  Spending time with them in the orphanage, like with Katy, really doesn't provide much of an opportunity to get to know these little people.  All of the books I've read about adoption and "attachment" only focus on the child attaching to the parent because of the possible attachment issues the child may have.  The attachment the parent feels toward the child seems to rarely be discussed I'm sure because it is pretty much a given that sooner or later it will be there without having to work at it.  For some parents it is the instant they first meet the child (which is what the judge wants to hear and, I'm sure, always does) and, for others, it has to grow which is the case with me.   But, it grow quickly - as soon as I'm away from that environment it starts blossoming and that is what this whole week has been about.  

With Katy, who was drugged in her orphanage to get her to go to sleep (go figure), I gave up any attempt of "bonding" with her in the orphanage and knew that it would grow when I could get her home.  And, it did very quickly.   I didn't worry about it happening instantly like I suppose it does for some people.  Katy didn't have any real attachment difficulties with the exception of not knowing me from any other "mama" nearby but, as soon as we had an opportunity to be together it grew for both of us.  

The twins were not drugged at their orphanage and we were pretty much left alone to spend hours at a time together.  It was extremely difficult though because of the set up with doors on both sides with stairwells right outside of those.  It was more of a formality to prove to the judge that I had spent the time with them and to convince her that I knew what I was getting into (thanks to the French couple).   I got to know their personalities a little bit but they weren't shining through like they are now.  They are so different to me now as I have been able to get to know them.   They showed little glimpses of what was in there before but now it's pouring out and they are so much fun.  When I look at them I am now seeing my daughters - not somebody else's abandoned kids.  They are now very familiar to me and I'm becoming more familiar to them too.    I expected this because it is how I reacted to Katy's arrival so I was not worried that they would never feel like my daughters but, it is so nice that they now do!   I think Katy is still working on the sister part of things because she has told me to take them back at least once and then has said that she is throwing one or both of them in the recycler or trash on many different occasions!  I know as time passes she will get use to them and hopefully enjoy having them with us.

I've read a lot about the "honeymoon" period often experienced by adoptive parents and will not be surprised if things get more difficult but, for now, both girls seem to be adjusting very well.  Food seems to be their primary concern right now - especially Courtney who has made major progress in the last week.  She's filled out a lot and looks and feels so much healthier.  Camryn always did seem healthy but their skin is all cleared up (2 "preventative" scabie treatments later - highly recommended to parents preparing for their 2nd trip) and it is so soft and baby like now - very hug-able and kissable which wasn't exactly the case in the orphanage - they were a little itchy, sticky and gooey while there!   

I couldn't be happier with how things are going right now and am hopeful that the girls are not going to go through major trauma later on down the road.   They look at the pictures of themselves in the orphanage for long periods of time but then they're back to playing, hugging, laughing and eating without seeming sad at all.  

I haven't been very good at taking pictures - surprisingly, it's much more difficult with 3 kids then it was with just the 1!  But, here are some of my attempts at documenting their first week home:

Pure joy and so much fun in the sun






Courtney then Camryn figuring out how to eat oatmeal.  Courtney quickly discovered that eating like the cat is much quicker and Camryn, naturally, followed suit.





Banana breaks 






Courtney helping herself to more snacks (note the 2 day supply of bananas!)

One week ago yesterday - 

The baby train (as coined by someone at LAX) leaving Moscow . . . 




My 3 Russian Beauties in Moscow