A little good news

Katy and I are home from Lake Tahoe.  The trip helped me reboot and begin another wait on a much more positive note.   We had a great time and I hope to go back with Katy and her sisters.

Another email was received today from an Ekat family - this was a good one though.  A family who adopted twins last July (from Ekat) are now beginning the process to adopt the twin's older sister.  Their email was very positive about Ekat adoptions and this particular judge - it's a long wait but basically, it's their feeling, that if you're with a reputable agency (which AO is) then things should go okay.  It was good to hear something positive about the region and the judge.  I wonder how long their process will take this go around.

New game plan

Katy and I are really enjoying Lake Tahoe together.  Katy told me that she "loves this trip - it is fantastic"!  Of course, that made me happy.  She's having so much fun with her cousins, aunt, grandma and great grandpa that she's probably not going to want to go home.  I'm enjoying spending time with everyone too and LT is so beautiful this time of year.  But, of course, I'm thinking of the twins and continuing to get bad news from Ekat.  

Olga gave dates as to when we could visit Ekat and I went back on line to find tickets but it is cost prohibitive.    Since last week the tickets have gone up $900 each.  The trip would allow two days with the girls - probably 6 hours total - and would cost around $5,000 to $6,000 with drivers, translators, etc.  I could save a little by leaving Katy at home but I can't do that to her - again.   

I've received another email regarding rejections by the judge.  It may be host families back East that I had heard of before but I don't know.  That's the problem with the internet chat groups - at times the information can be invaluable but others, it can be incomplete and cause unnecessary fear - I hope that is the case now.

My new game plan is to bombard the judge with letters from family and friends upon her return as to why she should allow me to adopt the girls.  Hopefully, these will get her attention and make her see past her own fears as to placing the girls so far away.   I'll start working on them when we return home from LT.    I don't know what else I can do at this point.

Time in between

We're off to Lake Tahoe for 10 days - I don't like the idea of wishing time away so I'm going to try to enjoy the time between now and the return of the judge.   I can't help but be consumed with thinking about the twins but, Katy keeps me busy and entertained.  I really enjoy doing things with her and, in all fairness to her, I need to make sure she doesn't miss out on anything due to this long wait.  It's much easier for me to get through this ordeal than first time parents who don't have a little one at home to occupy them.  

I spoke to the director of my agency today.  He reiterated again that the circumstances around the couple denied the court date are entirely different than mine and he doesn't feel that I'm in jeopardy of receiving the same fate.   He said that he has worked with this judge many times over the years and she is very thorough and logical.  She is painfully slow and detailed about the paperwork but her requests and decisions always make sense.  She does not act randomly against people and she's always been consistent - including in her slow pace.   It is one of her goals not to have any of "her" adoptions become questionable at any time - which, I have to admit is an admirable goal.  

I also told the agency that I still would like to go visit the girls when Olga returns at the end of August.  He's going to check with Olga about what dates would work and then let me know.  I think that will be a good trip for all of us.  But, until then, Katy and I will be enjoying our Summer with our family and friends and continue to prepare for the arrival of the girls.

More bad news from Ekaterinburg

Today an Ekat family posted that the judge has decided not to extend an invitation for court to them.  They visited in October and met a now 3 year old boy.  I don't know all of the details as to why the judge has decided to deny their adoption but just the fact that she can do that at this point is very discouraging and scary.   This particular family is working with an agency affiliated with my agency - she's very angry and upset since they've been jumping through hoops to get documents since October and only learned this today.  My agency has told me that the reasons this family was denied don't apply to me but, although that provided some relief, it doesn't make me feel very comfortable or confident about what's ahead.   

In need of a break

With the disappointment of not getting a July date, I consoled myself with the fact that I would go visit the girls in August.  I spoke to my agency about doing that and they were enthusiastic.  They said that visits are always welcome and Olga & team are always accommodating!  Well, once again, expectations have led to another disappointment.  Logically, Olga and the two translators working with her  all decided to take their vacations while the judge is out . . . makes perfect sense and, on one hand I appreciate them doing that so as not to cause further delays by them being out when the judge is in  (most specifically Olga).  They'll all be out August 3 through August 20th!  I briefly entertained the idea of going  the last week of August but the agency said that they're hoping I'll be getting a court date early September so it may not be feasible to go.  I need to be here to prepare documents.  

It is all out of my hands.  I wish I could just relax with that knowledge but I'm used to being able to cause something good to happen.  This time I think my hands really are tied.   

Switching gears

I've received so much support from the Ekat group and have heard so many stories.   Our story is not unusual for this region.  That helps as it makes me not feel singled out or as if there is a problem with my adoption.  The stories I've heard have been awful but everyone came through with healthy, happy children at the end which is encouraging.

I was concerned about going to visit the girls because I didn't want to upset their routine or lives.  I have an issue with showing them lots of maternal love and attention and then taking it away from them indefinitely.  But, sister Lynn asked why I couldn't just go over and spend time with them and not do the whole "mama is here" thing (one more example of how important sisters are and why I want my girls to have them).   I guess in the midst of the doom, I wasn't thinking clearly because, of course I can do that.  Just a visit with them - playing, getting to know each other, etc.  No big emotional deal for them.  And, I think they'll have so much fun with Katy and visa-versa (I hope anyway!).     

So, I've decided to take Katy to visit the girls in August and have spoken to the agency about it.  They're sending word to Olga tomorrow and I'm hoping it can all be planned out quickly so that we'll have a few stress-free days with them.  Hopefully, we'll be back in a month or so after that and the girls will remember us.   I think it will be a great opportunity for Katy and me to spend some alone time with them before the stressful trip of getting them home and then the difficult adjustments we'll all go through.

So, now my feeling of doom is replaced with excitement about traveling with Katy and spending time with her and the twins.  I think it will be a great trip.  And, prior to that trip we'll be spending time in Lake Tahoe with family which will be a lot of fun too.  This time will pass and it will not be wasted at all!  It will be memorable and well spent time. 

Delays, delays, delays

Response to my emails to the agency today:  

"The judge has all of your documents for review but she has not issued the permission to submit the girl's documents yet.  Olga is no longer optimistic that you will get a court date prior to the judge's vacation.  If you do not, the judge will return 9/6 and we will be looking for a court date upon her return.  At this point Olga is hopeful that she will receive permission to submit the girl's documents prior to the judge vacation."

I have no idea what any of that means but, I was warned about it on 7/4.  I knew before the agency knew so I didn't believe it.   I was told the judge had accepted everything and she requested the one additional letter on Tuesday.   Everyday it changes - On March 17th, when the judge first accepted my documents, I was told she had 30 days to assign a court date!  And they've expired twice since then and, of course, they will again while the girls fall further and further behind in their development.     

Why Ekaterinburg?

There's been a lot of discussion amongst Ekat adoptive parents at all stages of the process about how difficult the process is and if they would do it over.  My wait so far is in line with everyone else's - we've all had terrible experiences in trying to get a court date - however, this adoptive parent sums it up as to why we go through it . . . 

" I've read a recent post about how it is now very difficult to adopt from Ekaterinburg. I think that's probably very true. It's also not any different then it has been for years. When we adopted from Ekaterinburg in 2000 it was considered one of the most difficult regions in Russia to adopt from. The posts regarding this have never changed over the years. It has always been difficult to adopt from Ekaterinburg. Our original agency no longer works in the region and very few do. They are much more demanding with their paperwork. 

The flip side of the coin is they have some of the best orphanages in all of Russia. Our daughter came home at 16 months old from Baby Home #1 in the top 75% in both height and weight. When we were there during July we watched them bring out close to 100 kids to the play areas every morning and again every afternoon after their naps. It gave them fresh air and exercise. While we were there we also watched one of the caregivers set up a table outside to work with small groups of children with their fine motor skills with blocks and puzzles. The care they received was wonderful. We have heard similar things from other families about the orphanages in Ekat and the surrounding areas of Revda and Kaminsk Uralski. Our daughter Valerie is now 9 years old and one of the strongest kids I know. She swims like a fish, does sow cows and toe loops and bats cleanup on her softball team. She also scored in the top 1% of her grade last year on the nationwide Terranova tests in of all things, language arts. She also scored near the top in reading and math. She's a happy, well adjusted and affectionate little girl that is the light of our life. 

Yes, it's more difficult to adopt from Ekaterinburg. Yes, it's worth every minute. Don't let the paperwork prevent you from going forward in the region. For what it's worth, court was easy and the judge was actually laughing during one part of our hearing. I haven't added any photos of Valerie to the group in a while, but I'll be adding some soon. Take a look at the picture of her in front of the baby home and try and tell me she's not a happy healthy kid. Isn't that what we all really want?"    

I wish this made me feel better but it doesn't help much right now.

Not today

Another week has passed and no court date.   Usually the judge gives about 1 weeks notice and wants people there between 7 and 4 days before court.  And, with her vacation coming up on 7/30 that means there's only a few days left to get a date - maybe a week.   If I don't get one, then I'll have to get busy re-doing documents so that they're not expired upon her return in September.   

It's good to see the pictures of the girls playing in the yard and the good reports from Carla regarding the care Nicholas received there.  I want to get them out of there now but I don't think they are doing badly.  They don't know what they're missing but, every day they're there, they fall a little further behind emotionally,  physically and developmentally.  

They've been there 7 months too long already!

Another Day - Not a Word

Tuesday I was asked to re-do one letter.  A simple letter - just remove the notary.  Everything else had been accepted by the judge.  The email said that if I was able to email a color copy of the revised letter that morning than the judge could assign a court date.  I sent the letter.  I figure a day for translation - Wednesday - and a day to deliver and assign the date - Thursday - today.  But, nothing.  It's 9:25 AM Friday in Ekaterinburg - I'm hoping that they assign the date and tomorrow morning I will get the word.  But, everyday I think it's going to be the day.  

In order to make it before the judges vacation,  I have tomorrow and a few days next week to get a date - after that I think it's too late.  Another week I suppose I'll know for sure whether it's this month or next Fall.  It's crazy that this is not handled better.  I can't believe the judge would want to go over all of the documents a second time after they're all renewed.  Just about every document will expire if I don't get there this month so, basically, we'll all be starting over.  It just makes no sense.  I have to believe it will be this month.

CM must be very busy with Nicholas - there have been no postings since the day she picked him up at the orphanage!   They should be in Moscow right now getting to know each other and finalizing his departure.   I can't wait to see pictures of little Nicholas and the many pictures she  took of the girls before leaving the orphanage.

Hoping for tomorrow . . . 

No date but a good day anyway

CM, whose blog idea I'm using, picked up Nicholas today!  She visited Nicholas 1 month before I visited Camryn & Courtney - hopefully, I'm right behind her.  What a day for Carla and Nicholas!  And, Carla visited the girls during her last visit to their orphanage.  She took tons of pictures that I'm waiting to see and she said they were happy and busy playing outside.  They were all smiles!  

Hope to hear something good tomorrow!

Right around the corner

My first adoption blog.  I thought this would be a great way to communicate to everyone who has been following this journey from the beginning and who are interested in hearing the details between now and bringing the girls home.

It's been 7 1/2 months since leaving the twins in Orphanage #8 in Nizhny Tagil, 2 1/2 hours outside of Ekaterinburg.   Since then they've celebrated another Christmas, another Easter, and, another Birthday (4/15/06) without their family.  

 It's been 7 1/2 months of documents, delays, more documents and more delays.   I've always thought that court was right around the corner and feel lucky that today, I still believe that.  I had a scare last week when I heard that we may not receive a court date until the Fall as the judge is leaving for over a month at the end of July. Today I learned that they're still trying to complete our case before she goes and that they have all my documents.  Right around the corner.  Tomorrow I hope to hear - how many times have I said that?   I can't begin to describe how the slightest news elevates or plummets my moods so I'll leave all that alone for now and won't bore you with those details.  Anyone around me knows - and they thought pregnancy created moods!

I don't have any pictures of Nizhny Tagil or Ekaterinburg to post.  I have hundreds of pictures of the twins but can't post them.  I was so focused on meeting the girls and quickly getting home to Katy that I didn't think to look around me while there.  I know there's a beautiful forest between the two cities but to me, it was just more traveling on top of an already grueling trip.   Next time I will take pictures and hopefully they will include Camryn, Courtney and, of course, Katy too.

I have been so lucky to have Katy during this time to keep me busy and to keep me focused.  I have many reasons for wanting to adopt again but one of my reasons is I want Katy to have siblings.  Once meeting the girls, there's no turning back but, at my lowest points I just look at Katy and know how important the girls will be in her life too.  And, it's scary to think of Camryn and Courtney growing up in that environment and what their futures would be.  That keeps me going.  

I can't imagine having to have gone through this torturous wait for the first adoption.  I don't think I would have believed that it would ever happen.  I wouldn't have had this amazing little girl to divert and demand my attention!  She has been such a joy this past year and is growing leaps and bounds.  I have a new Katy story every day that has kept me and everyone around us entertained.   I feel so fortunate to not have gone through this with her adoption.  7 weeks after meeting her, her adoption was finalized in Russia - 7 WEEKS!  What a difference.  

I'll fill in back details later for those who are interested.  I just wanted to get started now so that I'm proficient at this by the time we get back to Russia - which, hopefully, is right around the corner.  But, for now, I'm off to pick-up my little Katy and enjoy our afternoon together.

lh