The good news is

there was no news today.  The other shoe has not dropped - every quiet day brings a little more confidence that we may make it back there.  Finally, a quiet Friday with nothing looming over me for the next two days.   I may even begin preparing for the trip although I'm still afraid to get too far in the planning as things change so much.  I don't want to jinx anything!  Hopefully next week will be as quiet as this week was!  

More good news . . . I found some Russian adoption blogs of families waiting for court - one of who has a court date in two days.  That provides some relief as I have been worried about the conflict between governments right now over the Georgia crisis.   And, I read about families waiting in two different regions and they were 8 months out and still waiting.   It's sad so many children and families are waiting so long but it does provide some comfort that my situation is typical as I'm 9 months out right now.  Hopefully our journey is nearing completion.

All quiet today

It seems the dust of last week has settled and it has become very quiet since declaring that I'm going regardless of any confusion.  No phone calls, messages, emails - but, I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

I confirmed that the passports have been received for new visas and that the final renewals are being sent out for apostilles.  All I'm missing is the FBI clearance which I can hand carry if necessary.  Even if that comes in after I leave it should be fine.

Tomorrow I will get a new itinerary.  My plan is to arrive on 9/10 and make a return reservation for sometime late October or early November knowing that it will have to be changed.  I don't plan on making any reservations for the girls at this point as it will be easier to make them from Russia than to change them later.  Note that I'm being very positive about bringing them home with us on this trip.   I don't have any idea how it's all going to play out but for now I'm focusing on the goal. 

I don't think I'll lose this feeling of apprehension until I actually arrive in or possibly until we're all leaving Russia.  I have so many concerns about the judge and the government and all that could change.  I was blissfully ignorant with Katy's adoption and had no idea of how fragile the entire process was.  I realized after the completion just how close I was to not getting her out prior to the expiration of the accreditations - I was lucky I wasn't in the know then as I was able to just focus on Katy and making sure her needs were met.  I can't wait to end my nightmares about Camryn and Courtney growing up in an institution although I still think about that with Katy even though it's not a possibility for her any longer.  I think it will always haunt me as long as there are other kids existing in that environment.  It's such a sad, avoidable waste.  

Let's hope the quiet continues now.

The story today is . . .

Maybe there isn't a packet.  Or, maybe there is.  Nobody seems to really know.  The only piece of information that has not changed is that the judge has asked for the girls documents to be there for her on the 15th.  Nobody seems to be able to understand Olga or Olga's story keeps changing - they can't figure it out and are also very frustrated.  

So, today another call from the director of my agency which usually doesn't bring good news - at least it hasn't so far.   Nobody really had any advice on what I should do - just explained the situation of really not knowing what is going on and understanding that they probably won't until after the judge returns.  So, one thought was that I should hold off on traveling until after the judge's return and we can establish what it was that she really wanted me to do.  

Based on past experience, I'm told, that when the judge asks for the child's documents then a court date follows very soon unless there are problems with the paperwork, which is unusual.  The judge has already, apparently, looked at my documents so there shouldn't be any other requests other than getting the renewals that I've been working on. 

With the fragmented, unconfirmed information that I do have, I'm still planning to go on the 8th for arrival on the 10th.  I'm getting a 90 day visa and an open ticket so I can stay if a court date seems to be coming in the near future.   Otherwise, it will be the visit I had planned for this week.    It's really unfortunate that they (she) had me cancel that trip and then have all of the reasons for it unravel.  It's all been so strange but I don't know what to do other than go see the girls and hope to get a court date sometime in September or early October.    

This certainly has dimmed my excitement regarding the trip but it will be good to get back there and spend time with the girls.  I only hope that they will be with us when we return.

Has it only been 4 days?

So many different stories in the last 4 days.  So many stops and starts, hopes and dashed hopes.

  

Tuesday - great day.  Learned about the mysterious "packet" left by the judge!   

Wednesday - even better day.  After reading packet,  interpretation is I should be there on the 10th.

Thursday - hold off as they may want to push it back a week - will let me know Friday.  

Friday/Today - Wow, where do I begin?   "the problem (ah oh, here it comes) is that apparently a couple rejected two children after completing the adoption in Ekat and now it is a big scandal creating concern regarding people's commitment to these kids".  

Now, somebody (Olga I think?) thinks I should maybe stick to my original plan of 8/20 - 27 - I don't hear the rest because I interrupt to remind them that I canceled those plans at a cost of $750.00 already.   

I don't understand the difference now if I go on  the 20th of August or the 10th of September since the judge isn't there.  I don't understand why I would defy what the judge has requested of me which is to be there on the 15th.  I ask, who is concerned and bringing this up as the judge isn't even there.  I think the answer was Olga but I don't know for sure.  I said I could move my arrival up from the 10th easily enough to spend more time with the kids if that would help.  

They called the "somebody" back and came back to say that the 10th will work but we need to wait for Olga to give us exact travel dates which she will have by Monday.  

Oh, and the judge's vacation is now until 9/15 not 9/6.  When did that happen?

Nothing makes sense.  The judge's vacation was 7/30 to 9/6 - now it's until 9/15

Olga's vacation was to be 8/3 to 8/20 - yet, she's there now communicating about the packet, dates, what to do, what not to do, etc.  

It is exhausting to me though and every time I have to wait again, it feels like forever.  I know better than to get excited about any news or become hopeful.    I won't go into the "at leasts"  because I'm afraid that as soon as I do then those will change too.   Very disheartening.   And, this doesn't even take into account all the Georgia/Russia/US issues going on.  Uggghh  I thought I saw the light but it's feeling pretty dim at the moment.

This will make for a very long  weekend.  

On a OMG note - how could a family go through this process and change their minds before they even get out of the country?   I've heard details about a case that we're assuming is the same and it's pretty pathetic.  I can't say that an orphanage is a better environment to grow up in then with those "parents" but I hope somebody else finds the children soon.  

Back to waiting

Today I cancelled the flights for next week's trip and prepared the itinerary for the trip in September after spending at least an hour on the phone with Expedia and Lufthansa.   After incurring a $750.00 fee for cancellations and learning the refund would take 2 to 3 "billing cycles", I then spent a long time on the phone with Enroute Travel.  I thought that I had it all done.    Prior to booking I sent the itinerary to AO for their input and received an email back saying to hold off - they may have us travel a week later than the 9/10 arrival.  That is disappointing as I want to get the reservations booked and I'm so afraid that things are going to continue being delayed.   So far though, nothing really has changed except for the interpretation of the judge's notes, the translation and the communication between Olga in Russia, Franks, AO and me.   I, of course, would rather get there sooner then later and just have the extra week with the girls which is what I told AO.  Hopefully, tomorrow we'll have a concrete plan.

So far so good

Based on experience, I am holding my breath until the moment I walk out of the courtroom in Ekaterinburg.  Anything could happen between now and then and it will be one phone call delivering the news so I'm hoping now to not hear anything more from the agency, the judge or anyone in Russia!  That's a change!  I'm worried about the situation in Georgia and have been following it closely.  My concern is that as the US becomes more involved, the already fragile relationship will become completely broken.  If this happens, it would seem possible that they may pull the visas and not allow the adoptions to proceed.   Always something to worry about.

As for today, I did receive another phone call and it was with even better news then yesterday.   Supposedly Olga has had a chance to read through the judge's request, relay that information to Franks in No. Carolina who then relayed it to AO in San Diego who then called me with it . . . maybe that's part of the problem - too many middle people.   Apparently, the judge more specifically requested that I be there no later than the 10th and that she is shooting for a court date of 9/16!  So that would have us leaving by the 8th.  She doesn't get back until the 6th which is a Saturday and I would like to already be on a plane so that she can't say not to come - not that she couldn't do that after we arrive but . . . 

I'm planning to call the airlines tomorrow and see what I can salvage.  In the meantime, I received the passports today with the visas for the 8/20 trip and now need to send them back.  That was another $600 down the drain but, in the long run, I'll be saving a lot of money by not having to pay drivers & translators for another trip.

So that's the story for today - hopefully nothing changes between now and 9/16!   

When you least expect it . . .

Today AO called and said that prior to leaving on vacation the judge had prepared a packet for Olga.  Unfortunately, Olga left for her vacation prior to receiving the packet and returned yesterday to find it.  Apparently it included a request for the girls documents to be delivered along with me and my updated documents by September 15th!  And somewhere in there it said something about needing me there to spend the "official" time with the girls prior to a court date toward the end of September!  What a shock - this is the first time since March that I have not been expecting to hear news from the judge and now I get it while she's not there!  Of course, I've already paid for my tickets to go visit next week but I'll have to leave around 9/12 to get there by the 15th so there's no point in going just to turn around and return a few days later. Visas and flights will have to be changed now but I am so excited that instead of going and having to tell them goodbye again, I'll be going back to get them and start our new lives together!  Hopefully, I'll get more details tomorrow and can start making arrangements!  

Confirmed plans

Apparently if you don't fly on a weekend and stay for a week, the flights are less expensive - so, we're going to visit the girls after all!  We'll be leaving on August 20th and returning on the 27th.  Hopefully we'll have at least 3 days with the girls.   The agency told me that they think I'll be getting a court date shortly after the judge returns but I decided to go for a visit anyway.  It's a lot of added costs but it will be worth it.  This way too I can bring more gifts for the orphanage and the girls.  

Prior to leaving I'll need to get as many documents renewed as possible.  I'll need to send off for the FBI approval, my 8 medical is expiring for the 4th time(!), and Katy's medical is also expiring again.   I'm not sure what other documents will need to be renewed but I'm sure there will be many.  I never heard whether the judge requested the girls' documents prior to her leaving so I doubt she did.  Between needing those and my renewals I'm not confident in receiving a court date early September but that would be fantastic if we did!  

So, Katy and I will begin preparing for our trip together.  It will be a lot of fun I think and a good test to see how she will handle the traveling.  Not much we can do after boarding the first plane but at least this trip is only 1 week, not 3.   It will be a wonderful opportunity to get to know Camryn and Courtney a little better too and I think they'll remember us when we return to get them.   Lots to do between now and 8/20 which is really good.   Time is already flying by which is great for me right now.

A little good news

Katy and I are home from Lake Tahoe.  The trip helped me reboot and begin another wait on a much more positive note.   We had a great time and I hope to go back with Katy and her sisters.

Another email was received today from an Ekat family - this was a good one though.  A family who adopted twins last July (from Ekat) are now beginning the process to adopt the twin's older sister.  Their email was very positive about Ekat adoptions and this particular judge - it's a long wait but basically, it's their feeling, that if you're with a reputable agency (which AO is) then things should go okay.  It was good to hear something positive about the region and the judge.  I wonder how long their process will take this go around.

New game plan

Katy and I are really enjoying Lake Tahoe together.  Katy told me that she "loves this trip - it is fantastic"!  Of course, that made me happy.  She's having so much fun with her cousins, aunt, grandma and great grandpa that she's probably not going to want to go home.  I'm enjoying spending time with everyone too and LT is so beautiful this time of year.  But, of course, I'm thinking of the twins and continuing to get bad news from Ekat.  

Olga gave dates as to when we could visit Ekat and I went back on line to find tickets but it is cost prohibitive.    Since last week the tickets have gone up $900 each.  The trip would allow two days with the girls - probably 6 hours total - and would cost around $5,000 to $6,000 with drivers, translators, etc.  I could save a little by leaving Katy at home but I can't do that to her - again.   

I've received another email regarding rejections by the judge.  It may be host families back East that I had heard of before but I don't know.  That's the problem with the internet chat groups - at times the information can be invaluable but others, it can be incomplete and cause unnecessary fear - I hope that is the case now.

My new game plan is to bombard the judge with letters from family and friends upon her return as to why she should allow me to adopt the girls.  Hopefully, these will get her attention and make her see past her own fears as to placing the girls so far away.   I'll start working on them when we return home from LT.    I don't know what else I can do at this point.

Time in between

We're off to Lake Tahoe for 10 days - I don't like the idea of wishing time away so I'm going to try to enjoy the time between now and the return of the judge.   I can't help but be consumed with thinking about the twins but, Katy keeps me busy and entertained.  I really enjoy doing things with her and, in all fairness to her, I need to make sure she doesn't miss out on anything due to this long wait.  It's much easier for me to get through this ordeal than first time parents who don't have a little one at home to occupy them.  

I spoke to the director of my agency today.  He reiterated again that the circumstances around the couple denied the court date are entirely different than mine and he doesn't feel that I'm in jeopardy of receiving the same fate.   He said that he has worked with this judge many times over the years and she is very thorough and logical.  She is painfully slow and detailed about the paperwork but her requests and decisions always make sense.  She does not act randomly against people and she's always been consistent - including in her slow pace.   It is one of her goals not to have any of "her" adoptions become questionable at any time - which, I have to admit is an admirable goal.  

I also told the agency that I still would like to go visit the girls when Olga returns at the end of August.  He's going to check with Olga about what dates would work and then let me know.  I think that will be a good trip for all of us.  But, until then, Katy and I will be enjoying our Summer with our family and friends and continue to prepare for the arrival of the girls.

More bad news from Ekaterinburg

Today an Ekat family posted that the judge has decided not to extend an invitation for court to them.  They visited in October and met a now 3 year old boy.  I don't know all of the details as to why the judge has decided to deny their adoption but just the fact that she can do that at this point is very discouraging and scary.   This particular family is working with an agency affiliated with my agency - she's very angry and upset since they've been jumping through hoops to get documents since October and only learned this today.  My agency has told me that the reasons this family was denied don't apply to me but, although that provided some relief, it doesn't make me feel very comfortable or confident about what's ahead.   

In need of a break

With the disappointment of not getting a July date, I consoled myself with the fact that I would go visit the girls in August.  I spoke to my agency about doing that and they were enthusiastic.  They said that visits are always welcome and Olga & team are always accommodating!  Well, once again, expectations have led to another disappointment.  Logically, Olga and the two translators working with her  all decided to take their vacations while the judge is out . . . makes perfect sense and, on one hand I appreciate them doing that so as not to cause further delays by them being out when the judge is in  (most specifically Olga).  They'll all be out August 3 through August 20th!  I briefly entertained the idea of going  the last week of August but the agency said that they're hoping I'll be getting a court date early September so it may not be feasible to go.  I need to be here to prepare documents.  

It is all out of my hands.  I wish I could just relax with that knowledge but I'm used to being able to cause something good to happen.  This time I think my hands really are tied.   

Switching gears

I've received so much support from the Ekat group and have heard so many stories.   Our story is not unusual for this region.  That helps as it makes me not feel singled out or as if there is a problem with my adoption.  The stories I've heard have been awful but everyone came through with healthy, happy children at the end which is encouraging.

I was concerned about going to visit the girls because I didn't want to upset their routine or lives.  I have an issue with showing them lots of maternal love and attention and then taking it away from them indefinitely.  But, sister Lynn asked why I couldn't just go over and spend time with them and not do the whole "mama is here" thing (one more example of how important sisters are and why I want my girls to have them).   I guess in the midst of the doom, I wasn't thinking clearly because, of course I can do that.  Just a visit with them - playing, getting to know each other, etc.  No big emotional deal for them.  And, I think they'll have so much fun with Katy and visa-versa (I hope anyway!).     

So, I've decided to take Katy to visit the girls in August and have spoken to the agency about it.  They're sending word to Olga tomorrow and I'm hoping it can all be planned out quickly so that we'll have a few stress-free days with them.  Hopefully, we'll be back in a month or so after that and the girls will remember us.   I think it will be a great opportunity for Katy and me to spend some alone time with them before the stressful trip of getting them home and then the difficult adjustments we'll all go through.

So, now my feeling of doom is replaced with excitement about traveling with Katy and spending time with her and the twins.  I think it will be a great trip.  And, prior to that trip we'll be spending time in Lake Tahoe with family which will be a lot of fun too.  This time will pass and it will not be wasted at all!  It will be memorable and well spent time. 

Delays, delays, delays

Response to my emails to the agency today:  

"The judge has all of your documents for review but she has not issued the permission to submit the girl's documents yet.  Olga is no longer optimistic that you will get a court date prior to the judge's vacation.  If you do not, the judge will return 9/6 and we will be looking for a court date upon her return.  At this point Olga is hopeful that she will receive permission to submit the girl's documents prior to the judge vacation."

I have no idea what any of that means but, I was warned about it on 7/4.  I knew before the agency knew so I didn't believe it.   I was told the judge had accepted everything and she requested the one additional letter on Tuesday.   Everyday it changes - On March 17th, when the judge first accepted my documents, I was told she had 30 days to assign a court date!  And they've expired twice since then and, of course, they will again while the girls fall further and further behind in their development.     

Why Ekaterinburg?

There's been a lot of discussion amongst Ekat adoptive parents at all stages of the process about how difficult the process is and if they would do it over.  My wait so far is in line with everyone else's - we've all had terrible experiences in trying to get a court date - however, this adoptive parent sums it up as to why we go through it . . . 

" I've read a recent post about how it is now very difficult to adopt from Ekaterinburg. I think that's probably very true. It's also not any different then it has been for years. When we adopted from Ekaterinburg in 2000 it was considered one of the most difficult regions in Russia to adopt from. The posts regarding this have never changed over the years. It has always been difficult to adopt from Ekaterinburg. Our original agency no longer works in the region and very few do. They are much more demanding with their paperwork. 

The flip side of the coin is they have some of the best orphanages in all of Russia. Our daughter came home at 16 months old from Baby Home #1 in the top 75% in both height and weight. When we were there during July we watched them bring out close to 100 kids to the play areas every morning and again every afternoon after their naps. It gave them fresh air and exercise. While we were there we also watched one of the caregivers set up a table outside to work with small groups of children with their fine motor skills with blocks and puzzles. The care they received was wonderful. We have heard similar things from other families about the orphanages in Ekat and the surrounding areas of Revda and Kaminsk Uralski. Our daughter Valerie is now 9 years old and one of the strongest kids I know. She swims like a fish, does sow cows and toe loops and bats cleanup on her softball team. She also scored in the top 1% of her grade last year on the nationwide Terranova tests in of all things, language arts. She also scored near the top in reading and math. She's a happy, well adjusted and affectionate little girl that is the light of our life. 

Yes, it's more difficult to adopt from Ekaterinburg. Yes, it's worth every minute. Don't let the paperwork prevent you from going forward in the region. For what it's worth, court was easy and the judge was actually laughing during one part of our hearing. I haven't added any photos of Valerie to the group in a while, but I'll be adding some soon. Take a look at the picture of her in front of the baby home and try and tell me she's not a happy healthy kid. Isn't that what we all really want?"    

I wish this made me feel better but it doesn't help much right now.

Not today

Another week has passed and no court date.   Usually the judge gives about 1 weeks notice and wants people there between 7 and 4 days before court.  And, with her vacation coming up on 7/30 that means there's only a few days left to get a date - maybe a week.   If I don't get one, then I'll have to get busy re-doing documents so that they're not expired upon her return in September.   

It's good to see the pictures of the girls playing in the yard and the good reports from Carla regarding the care Nicholas received there.  I want to get them out of there now but I don't think they are doing badly.  They don't know what they're missing but, every day they're there, they fall a little further behind emotionally,  physically and developmentally.  

They've been there 7 months too long already!

Another Day - Not a Word

Tuesday I was asked to re-do one letter.  A simple letter - just remove the notary.  Everything else had been accepted by the judge.  The email said that if I was able to email a color copy of the revised letter that morning than the judge could assign a court date.  I sent the letter.  I figure a day for translation - Wednesday - and a day to deliver and assign the date - Thursday - today.  But, nothing.  It's 9:25 AM Friday in Ekaterinburg - I'm hoping that they assign the date and tomorrow morning I will get the word.  But, everyday I think it's going to be the day.  

In order to make it before the judges vacation,  I have tomorrow and a few days next week to get a date - after that I think it's too late.  Another week I suppose I'll know for sure whether it's this month or next Fall.  It's crazy that this is not handled better.  I can't believe the judge would want to go over all of the documents a second time after they're all renewed.  Just about every document will expire if I don't get there this month so, basically, we'll all be starting over.  It just makes no sense.  I have to believe it will be this month.

CM must be very busy with Nicholas - there have been no postings since the day she picked him up at the orphanage!   They should be in Moscow right now getting to know each other and finalizing his departure.   I can't wait to see pictures of little Nicholas and the many pictures she  took of the girls before leaving the orphanage.

Hoping for tomorrow . . . 

No date but a good day anyway

CM, whose blog idea I'm using, picked up Nicholas today!  She visited Nicholas 1 month before I visited Camryn & Courtney - hopefully, I'm right behind her.  What a day for Carla and Nicholas!  And, Carla visited the girls during her last visit to their orphanage.  She took tons of pictures that I'm waiting to see and she said they were happy and busy playing outside.  They were all smiles!  

Hope to hear something good tomorrow!

Right around the corner

My first adoption blog.  I thought this would be a great way to communicate to everyone who has been following this journey from the beginning and who are interested in hearing the details between now and bringing the girls home.

It's been 7 1/2 months since leaving the twins in Orphanage #8 in Nizhny Tagil, 2 1/2 hours outside of Ekaterinburg.   Since then they've celebrated another Christmas, another Easter, and, another Birthday (4/15/06) without their family.  

 It's been 7 1/2 months of documents, delays, more documents and more delays.   I've always thought that court was right around the corner and feel lucky that today, I still believe that.  I had a scare last week when I heard that we may not receive a court date until the Fall as the judge is leaving for over a month at the end of July. Today I learned that they're still trying to complete our case before she goes and that they have all my documents.  Right around the corner.  Tomorrow I hope to hear - how many times have I said that?   I can't begin to describe how the slightest news elevates or plummets my moods so I'll leave all that alone for now and won't bore you with those details.  Anyone around me knows - and they thought pregnancy created moods!

I don't have any pictures of Nizhny Tagil or Ekaterinburg to post.  I have hundreds of pictures of the twins but can't post them.  I was so focused on meeting the girls and quickly getting home to Katy that I didn't think to look around me while there.  I know there's a beautiful forest between the two cities but to me, it was just more traveling on top of an already grueling trip.   Next time I will take pictures and hopefully they will include Camryn, Courtney and, of course, Katy too.

I have been so lucky to have Katy during this time to keep me busy and to keep me focused.  I have many reasons for wanting to adopt again but one of my reasons is I want Katy to have siblings.  Once meeting the girls, there's no turning back but, at my lowest points I just look at Katy and know how important the girls will be in her life too.  And, it's scary to think of Camryn and Courtney growing up in that environment and what their futures would be.  That keeps me going.  

I can't imagine having to have gone through this torturous wait for the first adoption.  I don't think I would have believed that it would ever happen.  I wouldn't have had this amazing little girl to divert and demand my attention!  She has been such a joy this past year and is growing leaps and bounds.  I have a new Katy story every day that has kept me and everyone around us entertained.   I feel so fortunate to not have gone through this with her adoption.  7 weeks after meeting her, her adoption was finalized in Russia - 7 WEEKS!  What a difference.  

I'll fill in back details later for those who are interested.  I just wanted to get started now so that I'm proficient at this by the time we get back to Russia - which, hopefully, is right around the corner.  But, for now, I'm off to pick-up my little Katy and enjoy our afternoon together.

lh