Switching gears

I've received so much support from the Ekat group and have heard so many stories.   Our story is not unusual for this region.  That helps as it makes me not feel singled out or as if there is a problem with my adoption.  The stories I've heard have been awful but everyone came through with healthy, happy children at the end which is encouraging.

I was concerned about going to visit the girls because I didn't want to upset their routine or lives.  I have an issue with showing them lots of maternal love and attention and then taking it away from them indefinitely.  But, sister Lynn asked why I couldn't just go over and spend time with them and not do the whole "mama is here" thing (one more example of how important sisters are and why I want my girls to have them).   I guess in the midst of the doom, I wasn't thinking clearly because, of course I can do that.  Just a visit with them - playing, getting to know each other, etc.  No big emotional deal for them.  And, I think they'll have so much fun with Katy and visa-versa (I hope anyway!).     

So, I've decided to take Katy to visit the girls in August and have spoken to the agency about it.  They're sending word to Olga tomorrow and I'm hoping it can all be planned out quickly so that we'll have a few stress-free days with them.  Hopefully, we'll be back in a month or so after that and the girls will remember us.   I think it will be a great opportunity for Katy and me to spend some alone time with them before the stressful trip of getting them home and then the difficult adjustments we'll all go through.

So, now my feeling of doom is replaced with excitement about traveling with Katy and spending time with her and the twins.  I think it will be a great trip.  And, prior to that trip we'll be spending time in Lake Tahoe with family which will be a lot of fun too.  This time will pass and it will not be wasted at all!  It will be memorable and well spent time.